Welcome to Bona Ogle Towers, a rickety, resplendent residence where the rooms are stuffed with stories, the walls whisper secrets, and the residents range from the delightfully deranged to the downright dangerous.
Step inside, Lace up your boots (but choose wisely—more on that later) be on your best behaviour, and prepare for our house tour .
The Basement: Hooves, Hair, and Hatching Plots
Deep in the basement, where the walls are thick with disco sweat and the air hums with the ghost of last night’s bassline, you will find two disco centaurs. They’ve just cantered back from an all-night dance-off, their manes still sparkling with sequins, their hooves clicking rhythmically against the floor. With them lounges one the Hairy Princess sisters Natasha, an enigmatic enigma of a woman whose wild tresses defy the laws of gravity and good behavior. She smirks knowingly, sipping something fizzy from a goblet.
All seems peaceful—until you spot the bespectacled creature under the stairs. Small, scowling, and suspiciously silent, it adjusts its spectacles. Nobody really knows what it is, but one thing is certain: it is plotting. Hard. Possibly a coup. Possibly a minor inconvenience involving misplaced socks. Either way, treachery is afoot.
The First Floor: Dream Dribbles and a Fluffy Fossil
Up the stairs, through a haze of pink dream dust, you enter the domain of the Sandman, who is either the most mystical, magnificent being in the house—or just a very lazy landlord. He peers through the windows, dribbling dreams into the world below, occasionally giving a sleepy snort of satisfaction.
But the real wonder on this floor? The Blue-Rinsed Mammoth.
A fluffy, fabulous, frost-loving fossil sits awaits in his room, a remnant of an age when tusks were in and the tundra was the place to be. He sighs wistfully, longing for his frozen homeland,, trunk curling in melancholy majesty.
And honestly, wouldn’t you love to meet one of his kind in the real world? Ethics, schmeethics—bring back the mammoths! Let them stomp once more, let them trumpet their triumph! Science, I beg of you, put your beakers to good use!
But there’s no time to linger. You must press on.
The Room for the Shy: Where Gretchen Holds Court
Just beyond the mammoth’s velvet lair lies a sanctuary for the socially spooked—a room for the shy, where introverts are gently coaxed into confidence.
Who is their benevolent guide? It's another of The Hairy Princess, sisters the beauty that is Gretchen ,of course, now moonlighting as an immersion therapy specialist. She coos encouragement, hands out metaphorical (and possibly literal) medals for small talk, and ensures nobody is forced to participate in a group activity against their will.
It is a safe space. A soft space. A space where even the shyest soul can exhale—until, of course, the journey demands otherwise.
The Second Floor: Poodle Peril and Chimera Cheer
You’ve made it this far. Well done.
But before you go any further, you must face the most fearsome force in Bona Ogle Towers—
THE TEACUP POODLES.
They may be tiny, they may be twee, but these bite-sized beasts are ferocious fashion critics. Their beady eyes assess your footwear with a level of scrutiny usually reserved for Michelin-starred meals. If they do not like your loafers, lace-ups, or luxurious Louboutins, they will devour you on the spot.
Survive their merciless judgment, however, and you’ll find yourself in the coziest corner of the tower—the Chimera family home.
Here, chimera welcome you joyfully, a lion-maned father puffs a pipe, and mother stirs a bubbling pot of something both suspicious and delicious. It’s an odd, mismatched, and utterly heartwarming household where no one questions a forked tail at the dinner table.
You could stay, bask in the chimerical charm, but the tower is calling.
The Thinking Room: A Well-Timed Existential Crisis
At this point in the tour, you need a break.
Enter The Thinking Room, where the walls are lined with books, and the air smells like old paper and slight regret. Here, visitors pause for profound thoughts such as:
- Why do I feel so judged by poodles?
- Did the Sandman just sneeze dreams on me?
- Do I, deep down, yearn to be a roller-skating cat?
Sit. Think. Question your existence. Then pull yourself together, because you still need to get your riah zoooshed.
The Butterfly Beauty Salon: A Hair-raising Experience
Upstairs, a team of oversized butterflies awaits, wings shimmering, scissors snipping. They do not just style hair—they reshape reality.
A monarch butterfly gives you volume.
A swallowtail gives you bounce.
A mysterious moth may or may not have added an extra existential crisis to your curls.
One thing’s for certain: you leave fabulous.
And now, my friend, you roller disco.
The Pussycat Roller Disco
A spinning disco ball. A hazy neon glow. The sound of skates on parquet.
This is the Pussycat Roller Disco, a place where feline finesse meets absolute anarchy.
At the center of the rink? The rubber-clad mouse boy.
He lives for this moment—the shoves, the taunts, the humiliating pirouettes as he’s sent spinning across the floor. The cats toy with him, tease him, torment him, and he loves every second.
The music swells. The lights flash. The cats smirk.
And you?
You finally understand.
A Wonderland of Wonders
Bona Ogle Towers is a patchwork of peculiarities, a scrapbook of shared experiences a love letter to our home.It is inspired by friends and foes, all of them fabulous folks who make life interesting. They know who they are.
Write your own story at Bona Ogle Towers. We want to inspire you to lose yourself in an epic adventure story with our prints. And everything has a story whether its ours or yours, or a bit of both because when you wear our prints y!ou're adding a new chapter to the book we like to call 'Stuff That Happened (sort of)'